I can't tell you how many times I heard someone say "If only you had listened", or how many times I have said it to my own children...I think it is just part of growing up. You do something, it doesn't go as planned, and someone has to say it...
It got me thinking about how many times it has been said to me over the years, and the truth is, no matter how many times you hear it, or say it, it still makes you feel about 3 in tall. I mean come on, you probably already fell like crap for whatever happened, and having someone say it to you just rubs salt in the wound...I really should find something else to say to my kids...
As I am sure many of you have gathered, after reading my last few entries in this series, I have not always made the best decisions in my life, but the thing is, it is MY life...shouldn't I be free to learn my life's lessons, my way? As a parent, I want to protect my children from that which I know will hurt them, but at the same time, if I save them from every mistake, aren't I hurting them? So, I totally understand where my mom was coming from; a place of love. At the same time, I shouldn't have to keep explaining, that the decisions I made for my life, had NOTHING to do with anyone else, they were simply my decisions.
So lets take a look at my life, and what would be different, if I had only listened...mind you, I am a firm believer in the butterfly effect, meaning if I change one thing, everything else changes too.
So, in exchange for being homeless, treated like crap, beat on, abused, partying too hard, drinking more than I should have, staying out late, dropping out of high school, running with the wrong crowds, being disrespected, betrayed, and belittled, I got...
- My GED
- A Bachelor of Science in Legal Studies Degree (Graduated Summa Cum Laude)
- My husband, a man that drives me crazy, but always has my back
- My amazing children, without whom I would be nothing
- A semi successful blog (still working on it everyday)
- A roof over my family's head, food in their bellies, and clothes on their backs
- Laughs, smiles, tears, hugs, kisses, and booboos to fix.
- Life lessons that make each hurdle I jump with my kids, a little lower to the ground
So yeah, what I went through was horrific, but what I got in return was well worth everything I experienced, and If I Had Only Listened, to what everyone was telling me, I might not have what I do today...and that is not something that I want to think about. I love my life, and although the road was rough, I wouldn't go back and change a thing.
What about you? Would you give up everything you have now, by changing everything you went through then?
